Car, Schmar

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June 6, 2012 at 10:50am
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In L.A., summer is typically ushered in with June Gloom, a mildly irritating time of limited sunshine. The opposite seems to be true of Portland, from what I’ve heard. June is supposedly the start of amazing weather. We got a tiny taste of it between some showers yesterday, but I’m so ready for warmer weather and the bike insanity of Pedalpalooza. I’m seriously going to palooze all over town, as I have been a little lost without midnight rides these past several months. I have scoured the ride calendar, and my own (im)possible itinerary follows:

Pierogies! I enjoy any opportunity to eat the food of my ancestors without having to make it myself.

Socks! I am a known sock hater, except when they’re hott.

Seeds! Seriously? This is a thing? Seed ballin’ through fertile Portland.

Various Gods! Solid theme with historic stops.

The ’80s! I like that this ride pits Strawberry Shortcake against G.I. Joe, as if that’s a fair fight. The ‘Cake gang has only one weapon in its arsenal: hyperglycemia.

Mystery! Riding an unknown path toward the sunset sounds like an L.A. kind of night (except for the direction the sun is heading).

Parks! Foliage, etc.

Obsolescence! A ride exploring the future of news is of interest to me as a recovering journalist.

More Obsolescence! Hitting defunct bars, starting at the rubble of the New Old Lompoc, where I miraculously survived the Lompocalypse double IPA.

The Ultimate Obsolescence! A tour of a high crash corridor. WTF?

Synesthesia! I’m in favor of anything high concept.

Words! Yes, Bloomsday nerdery.

Ghosts! A haunted library? Sweet.

Comics! A comic book party with a tiny bit of riding, I guess?

Murals! Street art, up close and personal.

Prince! I’m Team Prince, naturally, because he rides a bike.